Where 100,000 come to watch England die, again

Fun Fact: The Ashes are a joke, it's official. Go down to the bowels of the Melbourne Cricket Ground, in the museum and you'll find the evidence.

"In affectionate remembrance of English cricket which died at The Oval, 29th August, 1882. Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances, RIP. NB The body will be cremated and the Ashes taken to Australia."

This mock obituary appeared in the Sporting Times penned by one Reg Brookes. It documented the first in the long line of humiliations at the hands of the baggy greens. It was only when Ivo Bligh led a group of English cricketers over to Oz later that year did a group of Melbourne ladies present him with the historic urn. Aussie's eh? They just can't leave it alone...

The MCG, is huge. I don't need Derry my avuncular guide to tell me that. The final improvements which cost nearly AUD 1 billion, have made the stadium a vast concrete cauldron of sport. Most english football grounds capacity can be held just in it's north stand alone. With a 100,000 capacity, it is mindbogglingly huge.

"When they were doing the improvements, the MCC thought about dedicating a section of the ground to the retiring Shane Warne" says Derry the guide.

" Really, what were they going to call it?"

"Oh that's easy, it was to be named 'The one night stand' " Honk!

Walking around the ground you do get a sense of how much Australians, and in particular Melburnians love their sport. The MCG holds cricket in the summer and Aussie Rules in the winter. It's always busy here. From the top tier of the stand you can look out over the park to the Rod Laver Arena where the Open Tennis is held. Just a few kilometers further south is Albert Park which stages the Grand Prix every year and now includes the shiny new Aquatic centre, built for the Commonwealth games.

These folk are sport crazy, and for a population of only 20 million, the sustained success they've managed to create is testament to their dedication. For a young country Sport is an obvious way to forge an identity. As the gleaming statue of Don Bradman attests, if you can beat England while you're at it, so much the better.