Such is life

What is it with our love affair with outlaws? In Britain there's a long line of such 'folk hero's' such as Dick Turpin, Robin Hood, and even the "We love our mum, we do" pair of loveable sociopaths, the Kray Twins. In America there's a deep regard for Bonnie & Clyde the 1920's bank robbers, and the Wild West always conjours up Billy the Kid. All were deeply unpleasant nasty murderous villains. But gawd bless'em, they're looked upon with affection.

The same seems to apply here in Australia. The most (in)famous of Aussie outlaws is one Ned Kelly. Ned was the first person of European descent to be hung in Australia, at the Old Melbourne Gaol. There's a special place in the hearts of Australians for Ned. His life has been documented in many books, and the unlikely duo of Heath Ledger and Mick Jagger have both played him on screen.

What all these outlaws seem to have in common was a healthy disregard for authority. Ned was loved because he put two fingers up at the colonialists. He was by all accounts not exactly a lovable rogue. He started his criminal career at the tender age of 14 by assaulting a Chinese pig farmer by the interesting name of Ah Fook. A year later there was an incident where he sent a woman Kelly McCormack an 'indecent note that had calves' testicles enclosed'. What a charmer. The ensuing argument ended up with young Ned nicking a horse and getting put in prison for 3 months.

By the time of his execution on 11 November 1880, Ned and the rest of the Kelly Gang had notched up a good line in robbing banks and killing at least three policemen. In the final showdown with police, Ned and his gang held 70 people hostage and wore the now famous homemade armour. The armour thought Ned, was a good idea as he walked out to face the oncoming swathes of police. He failed to realise that as only his torso and head were shielded, he might still be a tinsy bit vulnerable. 28 shots to leg later, he was in custody and thrown in to Jail.

A showmen to the last, Ned got his photo taken whilst in prison and handed it out to family and friends. The celebrity con, long before Police, Camera, Action! was ever invented. His notoriety was such that a crowd of 4,000 had gathered outside the jail on the morning of his hanging. In the souvenir shop of the jail you can by little toy Ned Kelly's replete with mask. Let your children - reenact slaughter, terror and mayhem in the comfort of your own home!

Apparently his last words were "Such is life". Which for a career criminal is not bad when you think about it.